Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize