we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
