That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
