He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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