I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
