Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
