I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
