I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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