I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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