I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
tell me about the eggs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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