about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
