I wanna passion pit in your ass
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
