Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
