Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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