My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
