Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
