Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize