If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
