Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
why do cheetos always look like penises
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize