More tranny stories later!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize