"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
