You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
