I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
