please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize