haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
