A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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