ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
