Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
