We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
