just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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