i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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