All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
