I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
