Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
