Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
