you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
