ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
