whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
