just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
