actually, I'm a sock model
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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