Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
