A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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