THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize