I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
