so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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