if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
not ubering you a puppy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
