It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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