he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
