If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
