Got a toothbrush?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
