There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
