But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
