Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
