Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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