some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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