Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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