New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
