i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
