Sry I called you an 8
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize