...so i touched it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
