i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
