Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize